September 30th 2011

Today.. has been rough. Very. This morning Alex pooped all over himself (in his morning diaper) instead of waking me up. I guess the silence and comfort of his bed sounded better than a cold toilet seat. That was fun to clean up. He was NOT happy about me wiping his butt.

He got dressed easy enough and tried something new for breakfast. Oatmeal. Could today be a good day?!!

We took the 45 min drive to check out a childrens consignment store.. which he named all the cars and trucks.. along with their noises.. the WHOLE ride. Woooo... lol

Once at the store it started. I was sure to watch him for signs of anxiety. It was a tiny little place and Alex saw directly to the back where the toys were.. The lady came and said hi and pointed to which rack was what size.. Alex during this if doing everything he could to get out of the stroller. He began begging and whining and yelling to see the toys. I told him we would see in just a min after I looked at the rack.. Not good enough. Louder and more kicking. I let him out.. so Zoey had to go too to be fair. Alex's hands were balls and pointing.. twisting around and his movements were very ridged. He jumped and made happy noises but they werent words.. it was just babble. For a kid who has a 300+ vocabulary and strings 6 word sentences I just dont understand why he does this. Its like his tounge gets fat or he cant control it. His anxiety overwhelms him. After looking at the toys and seeing a push trike he decided he needed to be on it. LOOOONG story short he was removed, talked to, relocated... he wouldnt stop riding it around this tiny store. Lots of screaming and crying.. yelling random noises. In the end his fit was so bad the lady pulled a toy off the shelf for him so he would sit in his seat long enough to get to the car. OMG.

From here we went to Target. We needed a diaper refill for him. We stopped at the dollar spot where there was a TON of hand twisting, and repeating phrases "kitty cat.. kitty cat.. kitty .. cat" and " I need a car.. I need a car.. I need it.. I need a car.. a car" ... he refused to sit in the cart so all of the chanting he was jumping in the cart aswell..

I looked at a rask of shirts for me. Alex started making a noise. louder and louder. I asked him to be quieter.. he yelled the noise. :/ I told him again how he had to be quiet. His response? "I SAID NO!" Joy.. then he proceeded to try ripping shirts off the rack. We went to get the diapers.

I made the mistake of walking near the toys so of course he screamed and jumped yelling toys and cars. I let him pick 2 little cars and he was happy. While walking off he saw SOMETHING.. who knows what and it sent him over the edge. Waving his arms sobbing.. yelling.. kicking me (at this point he was strapped in the seat). I tried showing him everything else near by.. tried to play a game of hurrying down the isles .. tried to let him pick a new tooth paste.. the rage continued. I rushed to get the dog collar and headed to the check out.. Hes still sitting there crying begging for the toys.

Once we get to the car hes happy. Hes talking about the rain. "look at the rain mommy".. Hes fine. Unloading the cart I found a $1 spot pig and a pair of socks... Way to shoplift alex. :(

Zoeys saying shes hungry so I pick up nuggets and milk and feed them in the car. YAY for him eating!

We go to a thrift store advertising costumes. Alex is standing in the cart.. fingers wild.. jumping.. yelling noises.. We get to the costumes and he is pulling at them again.. I move him and ask him to not bcause they will fall. He screams this horrible high pitched AHHHH!.. It made everyone near us stop moving. We walk down a different row. He sees the pile of crap toys .. and buckets of Cars.. good god we must stop. He frantically says " my fire truck" over and over.. he picks out an 18 wheeler and this is where it gets good. He tries to lay in the cart and drive it in front of his face.. well its a little cart.. much smaller than a normal one... so he cant lay down well.. much less have it in front of his face to drive it. He breaks. screaming kicking. nothing calms him down. We go to check out. Im holding Zoey because his fit is so bad I just know she will get hit. At the check out line a lady makes a comment about "shouldnt it be the little one having such a fit" .. I shrug while yelling things in my head at her that I wont put on here. It wasnt nice. Pay. Leave.. outside isnt helping.. he beggs not to get out of the cart. not to leave the truck. No car seat. no no no. They both scream and cry all the way home.

Home. He refuses to leave the truck. He wont talk to me. He wont look. If I come near him he whines about me not taking the truck. I try reassuring him Im not taking it but it doesnt matter. Hes gone. My guess is that he was beyond over stimulated and wanted to curl up with his cars to get away from the world. Sadly it was nap time and not an option..

Begging for "No nap" and "my truck" he eventually ends up in bed. Hes kicked me.. and ran a few times in the process of leaving my room and getting into his bed. I allow him to take the truck. I shut his door... thump thump thump. Open the door. Alex is kneeling by his bed driving the truck in front of his head. I take the truck.. I lay him in a HORRIBLE rage in bed, cover, tell him I love him and will see him later. I close the door.

I have a strong feeling he will be in lala land with his trucks most the evening.. and very tempermeantal.

September 29th 2011 - Stop talking to me!

Today started so well. I was at a loss for words! No fight to get dressed - or eat - or get in the stroller. Walking up to the school building he said "school, Jayden, and friends, and Weston, and friends!" Once he was signed in he held my hand as I encouraged him to sit and color with the other kiddos at the table. He whined but walked without a fight. Sat and watched me walk away to put his things up .. he looked horrified but he SAT!! I waved bye and it was obvious he was ready to jump up and run after me.. but.. HE SAT!

When I arrived to pick him up he was laying in his chair play yelling .. and the other kids were under joining in. HUGE deal! Even more amazing.. I was asking a little boy his name and Alex told me his name. He said ALEX! Hes NEVER answered the whats your name question. In the parking lot he darted off while I put Zoey in her seat. He only made it a few feet before I caught him thank god.

Nap time was a disaster.. He didnt sleep.. instead I heard him knocking on his window and making car noises. For an entire hour. I gave up when Zoey woke up. He pee'd his pants but it happens every day at nap time without fail.. I guess we should go back to diapers for nap time. :(

We were picking up the blocks from play time and Alex disapeared.. he snuck down the stairs.. unlocked the back door and was out playing with his bike and the dog. AHH! Zoey and I joined him out there for some sunshine. He kept running the bike into Zoey making her cry. Yelling Alex stop, thathurts, you will loose the bike, 123.. didnt phase him. I swear its like he didnt hear a word I said. So he lost the bike.. There was a 10 min melt down following this.. resolved by a banana.

We read some feelings books and Alex knows the scared face.. but happy sad mad are all messed up. We worked on him copying faces.. eh, he needs some work with all that lol.

He cheered for pizza and gobbled up a few bites! Yahoo for eating!

The evening was spent playing with cars.. on the couch.. the table.. the floor.. couch.. on the TV stand.. the toy box upside down.. he made a road with blocks.. then back to the floor and couch again.

I tried to get him to enteract with Zoey and I by putting on the Alex music CD.. I think the music, and his name in the songs, and us dancing was too much. He started twisting his fingers.. hiding behind the kitchen table.. ect. I FINALLY got him to jump holding my hands but when I let go he stopped.. he ran and curled up on the couch with his cars again. :( I also noticed he would rub his hair a lot.

When Joe came home He jumped up and said a bunch of babble.. moved all over the place like a burst of energy exploded in him. Then when Joe started saying hello Alex whined telling him to stop talking over and over. Stop talking. Stop talking stop talk. Rubbing his hair.. hiding his face.. He got up and Joe kept talking to him and his fingers started twisting and curling.. tears forming in his eyes. I covered his ears to see if it would help. He didnt run or pull away but he was still freaked out. He started squeezing his eyes shut. Joe came to hug him and he ended up pulling away and ran upstairs to play with his cars. He whinned for me but Im not sure why? Came down happy running and flapping his arms.. pulling curtians.. total mood swings..

Our night is ending with a little Max and Ruby, milk and possibly a short story before bed. BTW- Alex doesnt like kisses.

September 28th 2011

Today was great for us! Both kiddos slept until 9 (wow I know!). Alex freaked when it came time to get his clothes on for the day.. Maybe he was cold.. There was lots of kicking and whining. Other than that getting ready was easy.

While eating breakfast he got upset by dinosaur train.. he told me it was dark and scary.. But with some soothing he understood that it wasnt anything to be worried about. :) He didnt want his socks again this morning.. he wanted me to "fix" it.. which it was on perfect.. so no idea what was going on.

While leaving he was VERY happy to see a trash truck. lots of jumping and finger twisting.. pointint and squeels. He was so happy he got in his seat and waited for me when I told him we'd follow it. EASY!

On the drive he pointed out every car he could see.. "work trucks, busses, cars, excavators, tow trucks, suBEEs, motorcycles, and 18 wheelers". He also vroomed and beeped the entire 30 min drive.

Once at the hospital he pointed out all the mommys and daddys, grandmas and papas through the upstairs window.

He was super awesome until he got bored of the stroller.. then demanded to be out.. so he did an ok job of pushing the stroller.. lots of climbing, hanging, kicking, and attempting to run though. NO fits.

Another fun filled ride to Walmart. He begged to see the toy cars the entire time. We didnt go... thats a fight that was NOT happening today. We went to the back family restroom and soon as the door opened he screamed.. kicked.. wiggled.. and cried to not go in. After 5 min of trying to get him to go I gave up. He held his ears.. and asked me to hide his ears too. :/ Alex hates semi public bathrooms too I guess. Back in the cart he still refused to sit.. at the check out he thought letting drool fall from his mouth was fun - when asked to stop my loving child spit on me. Awesome.

Home from our day he asked to potty (poop).. we set up his bed which freaked him out. He ran and hit while it "inflated" but was happy when all was done.. he jumped all over. Way to break it in Alex!

Nap time was great.

He spent the rest of his day playing in the back yard. Rode his bike all over for an hour atleast. Then got a few cars and lined them up on the bricks for another hour or so. He refused dinner and is currently watching Cars with Joe and Zoey.. while I "sleep" :)

September 27th 2011

Sept. 27^th 2011

Today Alex didn’t want to wake up. It took 20 min to get him
out of bed. He asked for yogurt and 2 min later refused to even touch it. He
curled up on the couch and cried for a blanket. He kicked and screamed while I
put his underwear pants socks and shoes on. Once he was dressed I offered his
yogurt again. He held it then threw it back at me yelling that he doesn’t want
it. Then asked for the blanket again.



It was time to leave and he was very excited about getting in the stroller. He
kept telling us to come on and get the stroller. I opened the car door to pull
it out and he started running in the garage screaming and crying that he doesn’t
want the stroller. I told him it was fine.. he wanted it.. that its time to get
in so we can go to school. For once he didn’t freak out at the mention of
school. He pushed and wiggled in attempt to get out while I buckled him.



On the way we talked about the colors of passing cars. He was thrilled to see a
bus stopped loading kids. Once at school he said he didn’t want to be there ..
but there was no fit. I walked him back to put his bag and coat up. Once it was
time for him to get out of the stroller he tried to hold himself in.. kicked
his feet.. sobbed.. begged not to leave him. NO SCHOOL. Cheerfully I told him I
needed his toy car and he had to go play with the other kids – there were cars
in there to play with. He stomped the ground and held me… then searched for his
car. I told him again I was holding it until after school – and showed him the
boys playing with cars.. for the 1^st time ever… He walked in on his
own and went to the cars. His fingers were winding and twisting.. he whined..
but he didn’t look back. He wanted the cars. I watched him play for a few
minutes .. he unloaded cars .. the other kids jumped up to play with something
else.. he didn’t seem to notice. I had to leave before he noticed I was still
there. I didn’t want to chance a fit.



I talked with his teacher in the entry way. She told me she’d be getting her
eval letter emailed to me tonight. That in the letter she mentioned how he
twists his fingers – is unresponsive and intentionally stares off lost when
talked to.

When I picked Alex up he smiled jumped up from his lunch and
ran.. not to me.. but out of the room into the hallway then in an off limits
room for the teachers. I ran with Zoey after him. Hed found a corner with cars
and was trying to get them. We did the 1, 2, 3 count and he told me to “stop
talking” and “no” but eventually wondered out.. to run past me to his
classroom. I followed to grab his backpack and he slammed the door leaving me
in there alone – him running the halls.. I ran after him and he’d disappeared..
He wasn’t in any rooms.. he was in the bathroom. He tried to run the hall again
and I caught him with my free hand to put his bag on him. He pulled and Zoey
and I fell on the floor. Sigh. Backpack on trying to leave.. he pulls and
screams to let go of his hand.. throws himself to the floor yelling and
kicking. I tell him we have to walk to the car .. we will get milk.. nothing
works. Finally his teacher comes and he withdraws .. stands up and stops
fighting me.. he then ran pulling me along. Outside another freak out about me
holding him.. stomping and yelling we make a game of run and freeze.. It takes
5 min. to get 30 feet to the car. I open his door and have him sit in his
seat.. I tell him sit there – I have to buckle Zoey in and Ill be back for
him.. Well by time I get to her side hes climbed to the front and is “driving” my
car. I remove him with a ton of force because he is kicking and yelling and not
letting go of the wheel. In his seat I buckle him as he asks for milk.



Home. His friend across the street is out walking with his grandma and the dog.
I tell alex to help me get Zoey out and we will go say hi. He jumps up and down

while I unload her then before her door is shut hes running into the street. I
grab his hand – he pulls to the side running. He slips, kicking my ankle
causing it to roll out and scrape the side of my foot.. Almost dropping Zoey.
Does he say hi to Connor? NO. He runs into the driveway twisting his fingers
jumping. After trying to get him to say hi since that’s why we were over there
I leave.. carrying both upset kids to the house. He refuses to come in from the
garage.. he wants to push the stroller. I close the garage, prop the door and
let him play. 30 seconds later hes in asking for milk.

He wanted an apple so Alex and Zoey BOTH got an apple.. he
bites his.. walks to the TV and drops it. Sees her with hers takes it and
throws her to the ground.. walks off expressionless to eat her apple. I take it
and tell him he has his own.. Show him.. Explain he cant hurt her like that. He
yells baaaaa!!!

Nap time. He wont potty. Kicks and yells. Pulls away. Wont
stand up. I am overly stressed and I spank him. Hes more upset.. all the above
much more intense. I pull his clothes off and put him on the potty. He says he
wants to stand. I take him off and have him stand. He pees. Take him to lay him
down for his nap. He refuses the robot blanket.. and the blue blanket.. he
wants the green blanket. :/

Its 1245.. hes asleep with the green blanket.